Glossary:  Bilko  Jargon  explained
Acapulco
Whilst rehearsing the troops for their song contest he instructs them to sing 'Acapulco' instead of 'a capella' the musical term for unaccompanied singing.  
See episode: The Singing Contest

Andrew Armstrong - Tree Surgeon
New TV comedy show, written by Quartermaster Andrew Whitley. Bilko tries to sell the idea to comedian Buddy Bickford. 
See episode: Bilko's Television Idea 

Annie Lawrie (aka Maxwelton Braes are Bonnie)
Song, sung perfectly, by a cold-ridden Duane Doberman. 
See episode: Doberman the Crooner

Arrivaderci
New car made by the Motor Pool from a converted Jeep.   Arrivaderci - "A good buy in anyone's language".
See episode: Bilko's Small Car

Australian Deal
A specialist way Ernie has of dishing out the cards - from "Down Under"
See episode: The Con Men

Bilko Baxter
An insurance company set up by Ernie for all the people at Fort Baxter. 
See episode: Bilko’s Insurance Company

Bilko Shuffle
A card deal from the hands of Ernie where there is "no known defence."
See episode: Con Men

Bilko's Gateway to Happiness
Hole in the Fort Baxter perimeter fence.
See episode: War Games

Bimmelman's Swamp
Bilko buys twenty-five acres of this land with the platoon's welfare fund because he thinks Fort Baxter may soon be getting enlarged. 
See episode: Bilko Acres

British Square
A drill formation, where the entire platoon surrounds one thing.
See episode: The Court-Martial

Burlicon
A new fabric made from the sack-making-material burlap. Ernie tries to get the US army to make their uniforms out of it. 
See episode: Bilko the Potato Sack King

Butterfly Fling
Knuckle ball thrown by rookie baseball pitcher Hank Lumpkin.
See episode: Hillbilly Whiz


Caledonia Fungus Fever
A fatal disease carried by mosquitoes. Bilko's platoon, inadvertently sign forms to be holed up in the same room as the disease-ridden insects, whilst on a singing trip to Florida. 
See episode: Bilko Goes South 

Camp Fremont
An Army base in Grove City, California. Ran down and closed after World War II. Ernie Bilko hears there may be gold under the facility. So, he promptly sets about the task of moving the entire staff of Fort Baxter there.
See episode: Gold Fever

Camp Paradise
Located in the hills of Colorado, this was a revitalising place for soldiers who appeared to be cracking up with fatigue and signs of psychiatric disturbances.
See episode: The Rest Cure

Camp Poconocohoochee
A boys camp meaning 'Village of the hidden wigwam' - Whilst the colonel is away, Bilko turns Fort Baxter into this. 
See episode: Bilko's Boys Town

Casserole A la Boudreaux
A secret recipe made by the Boudreaux family, Roseville Restaurateurs. Bilko wants to enter the recipe in a $50,000 contest. 
See episode: The Mess Hall Mess

Creeping Caledonian Croup
A malignant disease, invented by Bilko for the sole purpose of getting Sergeant Pendleton into the hospital Isolation room. Symptoms are wheezing a lot and bending over when walking.
See episode: Bivouac

Dimmeldorf Lodge
Resort in the mountains where Bilko gets a free holiday as long as the rest of the platoon goes at cost.   And it has a two hole golf course!
See episode: Bilko's Vacation

Do-it-Yourself Training Kit
A package thought up by Ernie for training up new army recruits in double quick time. 
See episode: Bilko F.O.B. Detroit

Evil Eye
Sergeant Grover tries his long hard stare on Bilko's brain. Hoping to give Ernie a headache, he only succeeds in making his own brain hurt!
See episode: Bilko Gives Up Gambling

Flange Foot
Disease that Ernie made up to get out of doing twenty-mile hikes. 
See episode: The Physical Check-up 

Formula Seven
Skin cream made from Jeep oil and applejack that performs miracles by making the user look at least ten years younger. 
See episode: Bilko's Formula Seven

Fort Baxter 
A military base used by the army in Roseville, Kansas.
Fact: The first three seasons of the show are set around this post.

Freud-Spinoza Debate
Story, from Ernie, of a famous debate involving the psychologists Sigmund Freud and Baruch Spinoza (two great minds that were actually born centuries apart!). See episode: Bilko & the Beast

Freudian Theory of Inner Regret

You don’t know about the debate? Oh! This all came about in the debate that Freud had with Spinoza many years ago in Budapest. You re— you read this? You didn’t? Oh, tremendous! TREMENDOUS! Freud came out with a then-unheard-of theory that man and the inner man, when there is an obvious submersion of the libido, into the id section you will find a regression. Freud definitely points out that in the alter ego, when there is an Oedipus complex which is prevalent, you will see that the man who shows sadistic tendencies, aggression will also submerge into the cocoon of being withdrawn from the entire soul. Freud — Freud, in his search for knowledge — oh, this was way before The Search for Bridey Murphy! — he had this down. He knew this. He knew the id complex would manifest itself with an outburst of bedlam of guilt and there you have the libido intertwined with the id complex, intertwined with heliogistic sections “A”; heliogistic sections “B” — Oh, Spinoza denied this! Oh he screamed, SCREAMED! Didn’t do him any good because there was the theory brought right out here. We have a man showing inner rejection in this very room. A few moments ago he walked with this massive aggressiveness — it looks on the surface he’s sadistic but it isn’t that at all. It’s just his desire saying, “I’m not so big, I am little.” That’s what he’s saying. He wants to be loved, he shows it, but he hides it. That’s his whole quest. He wants to be loved. It’s his way of saying, “Love me.” Now, how can we get rid of the creep!
Funkleman's Hoof
A rare foot disease that according to Bilko: "eats its way through the metatarsal".
See episode: The Physical Check-up 

GI's Gourmet Guild
A credit card business for the GI's at Camp Fremont - run by Ernie Bilko of course.
See episode: Bilko's Credit Card

Goombah
Bilko invents this ancient voodoo God in a bid to scare Ritzik and Grover. 
See episode: Bilko's Black Magic 

Goosenheimer's Business College
Fictional educational establishment where Ernie, under the guise of Clem Bilko, says he attended in order to dupe three shifty characters.
See episode: The Con Men

Grab What You Can
A GI television quiz show, devised by Bilko. All the prizes are the past winnings from when he appeared, alongside child genius Ronald Strobe, on the quiz, Lucky Strangers
See episode: Bilko's Giveaway

Hungarian Hives

European disease, whose symptoms are brown spots all over ones face.
See episode: Bilko's Credit Card

International Plutonium
Ernie Bilko invests $5000 in this company after hearing about their stock rising.
See episode: The Colonel’s Inheritance

John's Original Wife
An argument between Colonel Hall and his wife, Nell is accidentally broadcast on Bilko's radio station. It proves such a hit with listeners that Ernie decides to make it a regular 'soap opera' transmitted with this title. 
See episode: Radio Station B.I.L.K.O.

Kabuchi Island
Ernie Bilko fought here during World War II. Years later he is asked to represent the army as technical adviser on Love in a Foxhole - an epic film by the Hollywood 'big shot' CD Chadwick. 
See episode: Hollywood

Kacktabuba Fatalis
A tropical disease that is 100% fatal. It originates from Gubichee, New Guinea. The illness was invented by Lieutenant 'Iron Curtain' Curtis for the sole purpose of duping Ernie Bilko.
See episode: Bivouac

Kayoodle
Card game - using two cards - that Bilko plans to use to initiate Millionaire's son Justin Pearce Junior. 
See episode: Bilko Goes to College

Love in a Foxhole 
The title of a movie about Ernie’s exploits during World War II.
See episode: Hollywood

Lucky Strangers
A Television quiz show hosted by, Harry Harris. Ernie appears on the programme with Ronald Strobe, boy genius.
See episode: Bilko's Giveaway

Macoochi Island
The Pentagon notice that the motor pool love Chinese food. So much so, that they want to send the whole platoon to this remote Chinese island, for a public relations exercise. 
See episode: Bilko's Chinese Restaurant 

Melonhead
Nickname given to Colonel Hall by his old army comrades of the 33rd Regiment. 
See episode: The Colonel's Reunion

Mexican Slap the Deck
Card game originating from North America. Where one eyed jacks and red queens are wild, deuce of spades is a straight at either end, five of hearts is an ace if you have a three of clubs to go with it.
See episode: Revolutionary War

Musselman's Law and Theory of Family Equalisation
Ernie Bilko states that this law means 'the uglier the brother the better looking the sister'. A theory he tries out around Duane Doberman. 
See episode: Doberman's Sister

OPA Medal
Stands for Oldest Private in the Army.
See episode: Army Memoirs

Operation Brainpower
Codename for General Flemings' Pentagon initiative to sort out the clever military personnel. Every soldier that gets tested, academically, will have his test evaluated and the results transferred to a special I.Q. card. 
See episode: Bilko the Genius

Operation KO
Codename for the Pentagons operation concerning the effect of nucleur power on tanks.
See episode Bilko's Secret Mission

Operation Moonbeam
Codename for Colonel Halls’ attempt to cut out gambling on the post.
See episode: The Colonel's Reunion

Operation Shakespeare
Typewriters made available to all Army personel in pursuit of literary effects.
See episode: Army Memoirs

Osmosis
This is the process by which Ernie transfers certain thoughts into the mind of unsuspecting people.
See episode: The Song of the Motor Pool

Osselets 
A real equine disease that is the inflammation of the joint capsule in the front of the fetlock. It is caused by too much racing at a young age. True osselets is a bony growth at the front of the fetlock joint and is the late stage of green osselets, which was not allowed to heal. This disease effects the thoroughbred racehorse, Bellboy.
See episode: The Horse

Paradise Acres
A new housing area on the land known as Bimmelman's Swamp
See episode: Bilko Acres

Paradise Bar and Grill
A Roseville Diner, that is known locally as the 'Snake Pit'.  A joint, frequently attended by the platoon.


Poker Olympics
Card tournament held in Topeka.
See episode: The Big Man Hunt

Project Boom-Boom
Codename for secret plans shown by Ernie to the investigative journalist, Ray Barker. "Plans" include the sewage disposal system and diagrams of how Doberman's trousers are to be let out. 
See episode: The Secret Life of Sergeant Bilko

PTP
Initials of a regulation that is sometimes included in job descriptions. Bilko knows what the acronym stands for and convinces the other sergeants not to volunteer for it. It actually stands for Personal Transportation Provided meaning a jeep is at your disposal. 
See episode: WAC

Roseville Gazette
Local newspaper in Kansas. They charge $200 a page per advert.

Rutabaga Poisoning
A disease, invented by Bilko for the sole purpose of getting Sergeant Grover into the hospital Isolation room. 
See episode: Bivouac

Schickleman’s Traumatic Disorder
Disease invented by Bilko with the sole intention of confusing Private Pearly Johnson. Ernie and the platoon say they can see a baseball bat when all Pearly can see is a pencil!  The men also wear just shorts and shirts making out it Is very cold weather - yet according to Pearly it Is freezing!!
See episode: Papa Bilko

Schmill University

This is an educational establishment, near Fort Baxter. Ernie Bilko has the task of instructing the Reserve Officers Training Corp here.
See episode: Bilko Goes to College

Sharecroppers Summer
Play written by Private Hugo Lockman.
See episode: Sergeant Bilko Presents

Shriek Theater
An 11pm TV horror programme, which scares Sergeant's Francis Grover and Rupert Ritzik.
See episode: Bilko’s Vampire

Slibitz
Card game, of Hungarian origin, where each participating player is dealt seven cards.  Terms include; Snickle, Glintz, Yardle and Smice.
See episode: AWOL

Snack-in-a-sack-Raffle
Game of chance devised by Ernie, where the winner gets breakfast in bed for ten days.
See episode: Reunion

Swiveldik Knuckle
A term, used by Bilko, to reflect if somebody has mechanical hands.
See episode: Rich Kid

Treaty of Owitashi
Document found in the possession of Cherokee Native Americans. Owitashi is the Red Indian name for Oklahoma and according to this piece of paper they still own the state!! 
See episode: Cherokee Ernie

Tremblitis
A shaking of the body that Bilko says has already killed 17 members of his family.
See episode: Bilko's Honeymoon

Twin Oak Flats
A run down property, Bilko wants to convert into a nightclub. 
See episode: Bilko Buys a Club

W.B.B.H.
Radio station at Fort Baxter. Including programmes: Rupert Ritzik's Kitchen Magic Time and the Halls starring in the soap opera John's Original Wife.
See episode: Radio Station B.I.L.K.O.

What Every Young Spark Plug Should Know
A training film made by the Motor Pool. With Doberman playing the spark plug and also including a chorus of dancing WAC ladies. 
See episode: Platoon in the Movies

Wilkinson’s Disease
An affliction, invented by Bilko for the sole purpose of getting Sergeant Sowici into the hospital Isolation room. Symptoms are pains in the chest, spots in front of your eyes and trembling of your right hand.
See episode: Bivouac

Yucca Flats
This is a nuclear testing facility, about forty miles from Las Vegas.
See episode: Bilko’s Secret Mission

Zip Pills
Ernie takes these to make him fitter, but they are only supposed to be used when in combat!
See episode: The Physical Check-up